Lookin for sum fun n an orgasm

Added: Elden Templeton - Date: 05.07.2021 18:51 - Views: 15957 - Clicks: 6138

Cosmopolitan's The Orgasm Deficit reports that 70 percent of women rarely or never have orgasms with intercourse, and 11 percent never have them, ever -- however, based on the of women I've personally spoken to who claim to never have had an orgasm, these s simply must be higher. We're in the midst of an orgasm gap : For every three orgasms a man experiences, women only experience one.

A term coined by feminists of the sexual revolution, the orgasm gap has often been reconciled biologically. People assume that the clitoris is just too complicated to understand, for example, or that women's bodies are just bad at orgasming. All women experience orgasms differently, but common components include sweatiness, heavy breathing, an urge to cry out, and a feeling of warmth followed by a release. Orgasms exist at varying degrees of strength and length, so it's highly unlikely that women who can't orgasm have a physical inability to do so.

Perhaps they just don't recognize that an orgasm happened, or that particular orgasm wasn't as strong. Frantic Google searches by exasperated women might lead to the existence of a disorder called anorgasmiabut this affects only 10 percent of women and mainly encompasses women who are inhibited socially, culturally and psychologically -- not physically. If you think you're part of the un lucky 10 percent of women who are anorgasmic, there's hope: Most of the women who are inhibited by those social factors are indeed able to overcome them at some point in their lives. It's frustrating, yes, but social barriers to orgasm can be conquered if you examine their root causes.

We've grown up in a culture in which completion of sex is contingent upon whatever dude is on top of us finishing, becoming flaccid and rolling over to sleep. Comedian Louis CK sums this up wonderfully:. Ladies, we are half of the equation in the bedroom.

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We are half of the equation in the bedroom. I cannot stress this enough. Our pleasure matters. I know it, Louis CK knows it, and you absolutely must start convincing yourself that you know it. But the rest of society might need some reminding. The sight of a woman receiving an orgasm is so shocking that it constitutes a higher, more cautionary rating. Even the movie "Blue Valentine" was slapped with an NC rating merely because of a scene of a woman receiving oral sex.

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Ryan Gosling, a leading actor in the movie, rightfully complained about this to MTVciting the fact that when "it's a man receiving [oral sex] from a woman Women have been raised to see themselves as supporting roles. Our bodies are what satisfy, not what are satisfied. We are objects of pleasure, not subjects of pleasure.

It is only when women become aware of this unfair male advantage that they can begin to focus on their own bodies and ability to achieve orgasm. Orgasms, of course, are not the be all and end all of good sex, but they can certainly help make the experience even more enjoyable. It makes no sense for a guy to finish first, because then once a guy comes, he can't get it up again.

It's such a sad evolutionary thing.

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I've heard too many instances of women caring about giving their guy pleasure, but guys not responding with similar enthusiasm. Part of the fun of hooking up is making the other person feel good, sure, but women have become so indoctrinated not to care about getting off themselves that they don't even have the patience to try. Why are women hesitant to star in their own sexual narrative, and why do guys know they do? I have been with men who not only don't attempt to get me to finish, but who even respond with slight hostility when I try to give them the most polite of instructions.

Look, these kinds of directions aren't a pride blow. Guys, we understand our vaginas are not as overt as your penises.

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We understand that our bodies are kind of complex. And as much as you try to tell us that "it takes more" than just a couple of wrist movements to get you to finish, we won't believe you; there is nothing more complicated than what one cannot see right in front of them for example: the clitoris, religion, etc. Let us help you.

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A woman who offers you advice is a woman who offers you gold -- and, when you take these newly learned skills to the next hookup, is a woman who becomes a valuable member of the female sexual community. In the largest national sex survey sinceIndiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion reported that out of 5, male and female participants aged 18 to 94, 85 percent of American guys say the last person they had sex with had an orgasm. Only 64 percent of the women in this same survey reported having had an orgasm the last time they had sex. Statistically, Lookin for sum fun n an orgasm a large gap, filled with lots of disappointed female fakers and egomaniacal male stubbornness.

If more men set aside their pride and replaced said pride with genuine attempts to get to know their woman's body at the risk of making a mistake and being correctedperhaps women would experience more orgasms. Women orgasm more when they sleep with other women -- almost as frequently, in fact, as men orgasm when they sleep with women, which is basically percent of the time. It makes sense that a woman would value the pleasure of a woman, so why doesn't a man?

This switch in mentality is on all of us. We all need to start seeing women as subjects of pleasure. Women need to start seeing themselves as subjects of pleasure. It might seem easy to solve the orgasm problem by telling women to "Get to know your body!

This is certainly why sex within relationships is always better. In relationships, there's an inherent element of selflessness that's pervasive not only emotionally, but sexually. I'm confident that there'd be lots more orgasms going around if this delicate balance of give-and-receive were established in all sexual relations.

And women who already value their own pleasure as much as they value a man's pleasure can attest to this. Once women feel more confident discovering what works for them to reach orgasm, they can bring these lessons to the bedroom -- and, of course, to those nights when a candle, a favorite iTunes playlist and a vibrator are far, far more appealing than anyone at the bar.

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By Alexia LaFata. In any circle of girlfriends, there's always one or two, or five who has never orgasmed. Search Close.

Lookin for sum fun n an orgasm

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What is orgasm? A model of sexual trance and climax via rhythmic entrainment